Um....American Studies work?

Chester Floyd Carlson, born Febuary of1906, grew up to invent the process of copying also know as electrophotography. He had a hard childhood growing horses in Seattle, Washington. His favorite horse, Snowball, was black. The other horses made fun of Snowball and wouldnt let him join in their horseshow games. But then one rainy day, Chester shot Snowball...in the face, with a Haltizer and she blew up. Chester cried. This was around the time that he found out his father had scabbies, AIDS, Small Pox, was missing a leg, and had really bad bowel movements. It turns out that Chester shot his father 16 times on accident with a Luger. So being forced to live with his lesbian mothers, Carlson needed a way to get away from the world. So he came up with the Xerox Machine. Taking old pornos from his mothers bedroom, Chester would copy the pictures and spend long lonely nights selling them on the street corners for a nickel each. Then one night while selling pictures a 4 year old asian child came up to him asking what goods he had. Poor Chester only had the Xerox machine left and sold it for 1 dollar. The little asian child while walking away was shot and killed...in the face. So Chester walked over to the childs mangled body and picked up the Xerox machine. He then got the idea to sell his machine and kill whoever bought it...this allowed Chester to save up enough money to buy a coffee shop. This coffee shop grew into the biggest coffee franchise in the world, Starbucks.